Elul Day 29

Dear Elul Writers,

We have not spent this past month teshuvahmaxxing. Our work of return has not been about optimizing ourselves or upgrading our operating systems or otherwise hacking our lives. None of this language works for me, and, if you are reading this on Day 29, something tells me that it doesn’t work for you either. Rather, we are doing the quiet, simple task of reorienting ourselves before the year begins. It is not glamorous, and my hope is that it need not feel difficult, but it is essential. We are here, or, let me say, I am here, because I want to live a little better. I want to be more intentional, more attentive, more caring and more attuned. I am not currently bad or unworthy or guilt-ridden, but, still, I hope for more. And, it feels good to say that.

In Masechet Yoma (86b) of the Babylonian Talmud, we learn in the name of R’ Meir:

גְּדוֹלָה תְּשׁוּבָה, שֶׁבִּשְׁבִיל יָחִיד שֶׁעָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה — מוֹחֲלִין לְכׇל הָעוֹלָם כּוּלּוֹ

Great is teshuvah because the entire world can be forgiven on account of one person who makes teshuvah. 

What a perfect way to end our time together; I love this reminder that our actions, our turning and returning, have the capacity to redeem the whole world. Perhaps this is why we undertake this project as a community, so that we remember how dependent we are on one another. 

Each year I dedicate this Elul practice to my grandfather, Neal Nierman, alav hashalom. He died on the 29th of Elul eighteen years ago. Even this many years from being in his presence, it is easy for me to conjure his face, his smile, his laughter. Yet, more than his countenance, it is his wisdom, his love of Torah and the Jewish people that continue to be a light to me.

Prompt

Our sages imagine a whole world forgiven on account of an individual’s teshuvah. Instead of seeing this as a lot of pressure, we can see it as an invitation to imagine the positive ripple effects of our individual journeys. What effect do you hope your teshuvah can have on the world? Don’t be shy, the rabbis certainly weren’t! 

I pray that when we come together again next year (b’ezrat Hashem), we will live in a world that is more loving, more just and more peaceful.

Shana tova,
Jordan