Elul Day 15

Dear Elul Writers,

Working on a college campus, I know it’s August when I look at the whiteboard, untouched since May, and decide to erase it and make space for what’s about to come. I had that experience today. Meeting with a few students, visioning for the new semester, I got up to wipe the board clean. The writing had other ideas. It stuck. I thought perhaps a wet paper towel would do the trick. I was mistaken. In the coming minutes we employed a variety of cleaners from Windex on up the food chain to some sort of bleachy spray. (We cracked a window, for those of you fearing that we might have been endangered by a toxic airborne event). And still, even with all of our efforts, the writing remained stubbornly on the board. 

Then I remembered that in some instances dry-erase marker could be removed with, get this, dry-erase marker. Drawing over the stuck words again, this time with a fresh marker, I was able to loosen the writing’s hold on the board. I swiped the eraser across the whiteboard and watched with amazement as it came clean. 

In this season of teshuvah and repentance, we imagine the Holy One as a divine writer. We pray to be inscribed in the Book of Life and imagine our deeds (the good, the bad and the ugly) recorded so that they might be reviewed. This image can feel strange or foreign; isn’t it another tradition that keeps track of the naughty and nice? Yet, for those of us reflecting on our actions from the past year, such a written log could prove quite helpful. To return to the dry-erase metaphor, what if recording our screw ups and transgressions was not about feeling guilty, but instead was intended to loosen the hold that our mistakes can have on us? Of course, we can’t write away the hurt that we’ve done to others (that requires dialogue and repair), but perhaps by reinscribing some of our personal disappointments we can help clean the slate and make way for the year to come. 

Prompt

Think back on the moments from this year that have been stuck in your mind (a careless word, a failure to act, a promise not kept). Write down these moments where you feel like you’ve missed the mark. Look back at yourself with compassion, but also with honesty. Where on this list do you see the possibility of making repairs? Who do you need to reach out to? If you need to call someone, put it on your schedule to do so, or, better yet, just pick up the phone and call. As you reinscribe these mistakes, try to maintain the kavanah or intention, that tracing over your actions will do what no household cleaner can, namely, it will make space for a new story to be written.

Take care,

Jordan