Elul Day 24

Dear Elul Writers,

Is there anything more annoying than לשון הרע / lashon hara? The Hebrew term for gossip (literally, wicked tongue or evil speech) is a source of frustration for me on so many levels. To begin with, the notion of evil or wickedness, in and of itself, can feel so challenging and off-putting. I, for one, would love to grapple with gossip without having to contend with the problem of evil. Unkind or inconsiderate speech feels like a more apt description, and one that avoids questions of theology. Beyond issues of linguistics, teachings about lashon hara also tend to grate on my nerves. They can be so annoyingly straightforward and patronizing with their metaphors about leprosy and feathered pillows. If the rabbinic tradition is often rich and nuanced, making space for human muddledness, teachings around lashon hara can feel like they were penned by Nancy Reagan– “just say no.” Most frustrating of all, though, is just how hard it is to actually avoid gossiping or yapping about other people or useless chatter. In fact, I might be vexed by lashon hara because year after year it proves such a vexing problem.

Today, the 24th of Elul is the yahrtzeit of R’ Yisrael Meir Kagan, the Chofetz Chaim, the grand master of lashon hara instruction. Reading from his work Shemirat Halashon, I was heartened to know that others felt a sense of helplessness around gossip. He writes:

The Holy One of Blessing said: 'From all the troubles that come upon you I can rescue you. But from lashon hara, hide yourself and you will not be hurt!' An analogy: A rich person was fond of a certain villager and went to visit him. There was a mad dog there who was biting everyone. The rich man said to the villager: 'My child, if you are in debt to someone, I will pay your debt. You don't need to hide from him. But if you see a mad dog, hide from him. For if he bites you, I don't know what I can do for you.' 

Like a rabid dog, lashon hara is out of control, damaging and dangerous. The Holy One can’t save us from it, no amount of privilege can save us from it– the only option is to turn and run and distance ourselves from it.

Prompt

Even if lashon hara is frustrating, I feel like we can’t make our way through Elul without contending with it. We know it’s a negative force in our lives, but it is so alluring. Sometimes, if saying ‘gossip is bad’ feels prudish or finger-waggy, perhaps it would be better to just treat it like a mad dog, something we instinctually try to avoid. Today I want to consider how we can distance ourselves from unkind speech. Are there people or places where you tend to encounter it? Can you imagine a way of extricating yourself from these situations? Shemirat halashon, the guarding of our speech, is a practice–we won’t be perfect. Considering this, how would you like to manage your speech in the year to come?

B’hatzlecha,
Jordan